Do I Really Love Him?

  "If I really love and care about him, then why am I not spending more time earnestly praying and fasting for his soul? Why am I not crying out to God for him?"

  This is something God has been greatly convicting me of lately! Having many younger siblings and friends who are not born again, I've been so convicted by the small amount of time I spend praying for them!

  Shouldn't I be spending every spare moment of my time seeking the Lord for their salvation? If he/they died today they would spend eternity in hell? Shouldn't that scare me? Yes, it does, but does it scare me enough?

What scares me is seeing how little it scares me. No I' not saying I don't care for their souls! I do!! But do I care as much as I should!? Looking to Christ ultimate example my "love" falls so short!

Is this my attitude towards lost family and friends?

This is one things I think many of us fall short on, I'm speaking to myself her as well! Mainly to myself! We live our lives with often the only time we spend praying for the lost is in our morning prayer time, if that!

Sometimes I just get so tired and discouraged of praying and fasting when I don't see results! That should not be my attitude! I wonder where many of us would be if that were the attitude of those who'd earnestly prayed for our salvation.


As I've been crying out to the Lord to make me more into His likeness and for Him to mold me into a vessel for His use, this is one of the many areas He's shown me that needs changing! I just don't care enough for the lost!! 

Why do I care so little? Do I fully understand and realize what Christ has done for me?! And what He's done for them?

I think partly it comes from my humanness. I'm not taking my strength and learning to love from God. I'm doing it on my own, or trying to that is. Without taking my strength from God, I can not truly love them! True love is of God! I must learn to love from God and look to His example.

Also I wonder if I truly realize the depth of what He did for me. 

Oh Lord may this be my prayer!!

In a way I didn't really want to write this post. I don't like to reveal certain sins and shortcomings in my life. I'm very proud(another post on this;), and self sufficient. I don't like people to see my errors, but I need your prayers. I need my fellow believers to lift me up in prayer.

Lord I pray that You would give me a deeper understanding of what you've done for me. Give me your love for the lost! Thank you for showing me how much I fall short and how I must lean on you.